Her Long Awaited Rest.

It spread like a disease, like a never ending sickness.  It was slow, the darkening force that came upon her and crept in the shadows of her mind, stalking around like a predator waiting for the dinner bell to be rung. It slowly consumed her, turning all the good that she was into darkness.
Her death was slow and it was her own mind that turned onto itself. Her dreams and hopes were shattered and were stepped on. Her abilities were downcast. Her heart, that was said to be so kind, was covered with sticky, black tar.

It was slow. At the beginning she thought it was only stress and exhaustion that plagued her. Her smile didn't match her tired eyes. Her laugh didn't match her broken heart.
But, no one saw or she didn't think anyone did.
It was worse when she was alone. As she left her school, away from the eyes of everyone else, she'd break down. Negative, destroying thoughts span around in her head. Voices, that sounded like her own, told her it would never change.
It did change though, but not for the better. As the days became shorter and the darkness became stronger, she began to act out. She began to snap at everyone around her. She began to become grumpier and grumpier. She began to lose hope and comfort in the things she loved the most.
She didn't know why this was all happening. Was she depressed, exhausted, or stressed? Was she lonely? Was she feeling unwanted?
Yes. She was feeling all of those things. That was for sure, but was all of that causing the darkness to continue whispering things in her mind?  Was those things causing the monster to do more than peep it's fiery eyes out from under the bed?
Months passed. There were times when she felt everything was getting better, but then when she was alone again it covered her, strangled her, and broke her. She began to hate everything and everyone. She began wanted to be numb, to give into the voices in her head. She began not to care. She began to love to be alone instead of being surrounded by those that she loved.
She didn't care about those around her, because hell, they don't truly care about her in the first place. In her mind everyone only truly cares about themselves.
Then there was God. She thought to herself, God is said to love me right? But guilt took over her heart of the sins she continued to commit. She believed she doesn't deserve God. She can't come to God to save her because she doesn't deserve it and she may just turn her back on Him again in the future.
She already knew how much things like that can hurt, so why would she do that to Him?
So she pushed Him away too. She wanted to push everyone away. She didn't deserve any kindness. She didn't deserve happiness. All those feelings made her only feel guilt, crushing guilt.
But she didn't want to feel guilt either. She didn't want to feel sad because all her tears have ran dry so how could she release sadness?
Then one day as she pretended to smile and be happy in the halls of her school she realized that no one probably knew of the darkness that had almost completely consumed her. No one knew that she couldn't take it anymore. No one could help her stop feeling so tired all the time.
So as she looked down from the roof, she saw the only release she could find, cold hard concrete. She saw the thick white snow covering the ground like a feather stuffed blanket. She saw rest. She saw an end.
As she jumped she smiled the first real smile in a long time.